getting back on the horse.

i've been saying for weeks that i'm going to get back into my routine, but all i've done is not sink further down...

that's changing today :)

i had a breakfast that was a bit too big, i admit.. but i'll make up for it the rest of the day.

i'm also going to the gym today :)

and i'm going to start blogging everything i eat again.

the plan for today:

burn off at least 300 calories on the elliptical.

then do random training until i get tired.

I bought that stuff a few days ago - 110 calories a slice of cinnamon apple swirl bread, compared to 160 per slice of cinnamon raisin. I decided to spring for it :) I say you should too. It's delicious :)

I think I'm going to try to bake a bit more, actually.

Stress oh stress.

Since I started school and had issues with Thom I've put on a bit of weight. And I don't like it, I don't feel like me with it and I'd like to get rid of it. So I thought I'd go on Xanga and keep a blog and make it less boring and depressing to lose the weight. So that's what I'm doing. *wish me luck*

Public Apology.

So I'm not sure if anyone missed me, but I didn't update in a while.
Why, you ask?
Well it's a great story, here we gooooo.

First of all, school started, and I'm still finding my rhythm with my work and meeting some people.

Second, I had a little bit of drama and adventure this week.
So I'm sure I've mentioned that I'm not in a committed relationship but I do have one guy I see regularly. His name's Tom, and the biggest problem we have is I live in Brooklyn and he lives in Greenwich (yesyes, TRUST FUND BABIES I know).

For the record, I'm standing sort of behind him.

So anyway, we have this mutual friend Emily who decided to inform me of what I already know - he's got other stuff going on. Big whoop, because I do too. But she really got me by saying that 1. one of those girls is Monica, his ex who he still has feelings for and 2. she didn't say "he messes around" she said it more like "HES SUCH A MANWHORE".

And it just got on my nerves.

And I got mad and he noticed and he figured out what happened, and now he cut Emily out of his life. But I've had a hard time dealing with the whole Monica thing and I was considering cutting him out. But then last night I went out to dinner and a movie with him and just fell for him all over again. He's like a drug. I hate it. But I'd be in so much pain if I walked away, and it's not like I'm losing anything by staying.

Over this weekend I also think I gained a bit of weight, from going out with him last night and just this argument I had with Andrey followed by boredom, which led to a mini binge. So I've gotta restrict a bit over the next week to make up for it.

Anyway, that's why I didn't update.

And yes, I know before I said I had something going on with a guy named Brad. I do. He lives in Florida. It makes the relationship thing a bit unworkable. I honestly don't know who I'd rather be with, but right now I don't ahve a chance to be with either one, so I doubt it matters anyway.

014.

Breakfast when you're too lazy to cook and it's too hot in your house for hot food:

1 pint strawberries + 8 oz ff yogurt + 3/4 cup All Bran + 1 apple

Filling, delicious, nutritious, and about 400 calories :)